Last weekend, my friends and I had a short getaway roadtrip to Coachella Valley to see the Desert X exhibition. Believe it or not, we set out at 10:30am but didn’t arrive until 2pm! Our poor car blew up on the half way! We had to go to the repair store to have it changed a new tire. But luckily, we arrived safe and sound.
(Now you see me.)
The first art project we went to was created by Phillip K Smith III. That was my personal favorite. Surrounded by 300 geometric reflectors angled at 10 degree, the artwork directly engaged with the surroundings. Indeed, it changes every second since both the land and the sky is different every time. That reminds me of the Greek Philosopher Heraclitus once said, “No man can step into the same river twice.” Suddenly, the way I understand this piece of artwork has a more profound meaning.
(Run as fast as you can.)
After I left, I kept wondering why would these artists have their artwork shown in a desert. Is it because they want to take advantage of the environment and interact with it? Or is it because they want people to drive all the way down there to feel something. I mean, everyone may have different interpretation. But I do think that’s a brilliant idea. Artists are in some way above normal people. They create art to communicate and express, yet not many people can truly understand the meaning. This whole process of discussion and exploration becomes the fun part.
(And never look back.)
Inspired by this art work, I start thinking about myself. What is the position of me in the entire universe? How can I find myself a place in this world? It occured to me the time when I was still a kid, I had all those big dreams. The images were vague and blurry. But I always know that someday I will become something big. It doesn’t necessarily to become an actress to be known by people. But the desire to be seen and to be known is deeply rooted. Yet as I grow up, I think I lose some part of me. Now that I see so many talented people, I have holdbacks. Will I ever be able to fulfill my dreams? What is even my dream?
(Be strong. Be powerful.)
My dad likes to ask people “what’s your dream?” Often times, it leads to a little bit embarrassment for I just realize many other people have also lost their way and given up to the reality. SO here comes to my next question, should dreamers only belong to rich people then? So how much money and power would ever be enough to protect one’s dream? Is that the reason why people give up because they don’t have enough money yet? We heard a lot of people complaning about the reality, for they have to make a living first. Ok, I get that. But then, when is the right time to stop what you’re doing and to fight for your dreams?
Maybe these questions are too idealistic. I don’t know. It just burst into my mind and I really want to figure them out. On my own journey, I have also doubted myself thousands of times. Questioning myself too hard. Have fear and hesitations. But I was so inspired by the courage of these artists like Philip K Smith that I strongly want to step out of my comfort zone.
(Close your eyes and jump.)
And here comes a quote I read from Has‘s (my good friend) website.
“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” – Ira Glass
I hope you’ll be encouraged. Till next time! Xoxo, Sweet Connie.
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